I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize