Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
well you can't waste a boner
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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