just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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