If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize