I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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