The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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