how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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