what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize