they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I pour the whiskey from now on
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize