screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
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I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
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I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just puked most of my soul out..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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