I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize