woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
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Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
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Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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