sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
soo... how was my night?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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