I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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