He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize