Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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