I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
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Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
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I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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