All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
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idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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