So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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