never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize