so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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