you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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