yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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