I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize