the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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