Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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