I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize