Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
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Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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