He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
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promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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