Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize