I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Vodka?
Forever.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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