Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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