Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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