I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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