It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
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I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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