Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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