You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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