I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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