dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize