C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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