I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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