you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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