Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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