thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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