just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We had to coat check the pizza.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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