Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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