it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
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I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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