I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
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I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
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Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
i've created a new STD.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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