so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
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Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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