So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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