I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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